Where Want Meets Wisdom
Parshat Ki Teitzei 5785: Deuteronomy 21:10-25:19
This week’s Torah reading opens with a striking scene: “When you go out to war against your enemies…” (Deuteronomy 21:10). As the Israelites are preparing to enter the Promised Land, they know that many nations are ready to wage war against them. The Torah doesn’t shy away from the realities of conflict, including what might happen if a soldier encounters a beautiful woman among the captives.
At that time, it was common for Israel’s enemies to send out their women dressed in their finest, hoping to seduce and distract the soldiers and weaken their resolve. The Torah’s response is surprisingly humane. The soldier isn’t allowed to harm her, enslave her, or treat her as a mere prize of war. If he desires her, he must bring her home and wait through a cooling-off period. During this time, she removes her fine clothes and adornments, and she must also agree to become part of the Jewish people of her own free will. The soldier can’t touch her, and if, after this period, he still wants to marry her, he must do so respectfully. If not, he must set her free and make sure she’s compensated for what she’s endured.
By the standards of the ancient world, these rules are remarkably compassionate. And sadly, we know this kind of savagery isn’t only something of the distant past; even today, we see horrors we once thought were relegated to ancient history. The Torah’s insistence on boundaries and respect stands in stark contrast to the brutality that too often surfaces in times of war.
But there’s a deeper message here. The passage isn’t just about a literal battlefield—it’s also about the battles inside each of us. “When you go out to war with your enemies…” can just as easily mean struggling with our own impulses—the urges that nudge us to act impulsively, sometimes at the expense of others.
The Torah’s guidelines serve as a reminder to pause before acting on impulse, in any area of life. Whether it’s desire, anger, jealousy, or the urge to get our way, we’re called to slow down and look beyond the surface. Are we seeing the full humanity in those around us? Are we acting with integrity, even when our emotions are running high?
That’s real strength: not simply doing what we want in the heat of the moment but making choices that protect dignity—our own and others’. It’s a call to respect boundaries, to recognize that just because something is within our grasp doesn’t mean it’s right for us. When we act with restraint and compassion, we help create a world where everyone’s dignity is protected—a goal truly worth striving for.
I wish you a good week, and Shabbat Shalom!
Rabbi Yonatan Hambourger